I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
