I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
