It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
