I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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