listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
