he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
