I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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