Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
