Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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