Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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