Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize