He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
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I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
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I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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