she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
