She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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