I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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