8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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