At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize