She said her name was "party"
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
