bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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