what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
