Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
