All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
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There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
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Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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