if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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