Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
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walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
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You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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