What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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