finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
