the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize