is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
