She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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