Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
