at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
