there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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