i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
A bitchslap is in order.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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