who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
