Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
