You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Randomize
