Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
