Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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