worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
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you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
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This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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