I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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