ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize