I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
