U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
