last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
