We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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