You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
we're so committed to being not committed
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
