Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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