i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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