i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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