Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
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the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
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this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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