i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
