Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
