So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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