the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
