waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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