Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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