Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
