lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
